Abandonment

I was recently invited to a baby shower for someone I once considered one of my closest friends on earth. Over the course of years our friendship eventually began to drifted apart and several years ago, she stopped responding to me. I guess the friendship had run its course. In the years since then I've off-and-on mourned the loss of that friendship. Sure, it had changed and we weren't as close as we'd once been, but we were still friends and I still loved her and wanted to be a part of her life (I still do). But the friendship has long been over.

And then this invitation came. Technically, it was from her mother, whom I still keep in touch with, and it was a Facebook event invite (not a personal one). I'm pretty sure mom doesn't really know that our friendship had drifted into total non-existence years ago and that the invite was a "Hey, who on Facebook might want to come to the shower?"-type of thing; therefore, I was included.

I knew right away, I couldn't just attend. I thought about talking to the mom - but it wouldn't be right to drag her into drama. I thought about contacting my "friend". I prayed about it and finally realized, that no, that friendship was indeed dead. She decided that long ago. No matter how much I miss her, it was her decision to walk away. And I can't control everything (although usually I wish I could). The call to restore the friendship, if ever it happens, is hers to initiate.

Coming to this decision wasn't easy and all this re-hashing upset me. It made me feel abandoned all over again. She bailed on a 10 year friendship. And then I started to think about other relationships lost. My brother. The bosom sister. My childhood bestie. And I grieved.

I spoke to Adonai about my decision with the baby shower and then delved into my sense of abandonment. Man, did I marry a great guy. His first words were that he would never abandon me. He then reminded me that friendships DO change, and that's okay. Next, he was quick to point out the TONS of AMAZING friends I have now and all of the life-long friends we've made over the years who will always be there - those who value me and our friendship enough to always be there in some capacity or with whom we can pickup where we left off.

And finally, Ado let me know that with those other relationships that have come to an end at the hand of the other, that it was "their loss"... And you know what, it is.

In contemplating all of this, I'm super glad for a God who promises He will never abandon or forsake me. He knows that I'm a good friend. That I'm a quality person. And that there is value in me and being my friend. God will ALWAYS be there for me. Thank God for Him! LOL.

So, there it is. It isn't meant to be a sob story, but rather to share my life as one does in a blog, but more than that to thank all of you who are faithful friends. I cherish our relationships... and you!