Weaning

The time has finally come. We are officially weaning.

Yes, I know, weaning really begins the first time you offer cereal to your tiny pumpkin. We are way beyond that and at the near end of the nursing process.

Okay, if you're not a mom and you're EWWing right now, feel free not to read further. This blog is about me and my family and the big reality that I'm facing right now is getting my 15 month old to stop nursing.

To start, I nursed Naiya for 19 months. I decided long ago that with Natalia I'd like to end around 18 months. Then we decided to go to India in October and I'd be away from angel for 2 weeks (this would be at 17 months, so close enough). With India looming around the bend, I knew I needed Natalia weaned by then so that she wouldn't be a nightmare for my sister-in-law who will be watching her while we're out of the country.

Several weeks ago we went on a family vacation and Natalia was a little sick and so she nursed A LOT. More than usual, but that's to be expected when baby doesn't feel well. However, as Nat got well, she didn't like giving up her new frequency. And then she got greedy.

I honestly think I would have kept nursing longer if Natalia hadn't pushed me over the edge. She would nurse a normal feeding, and then demand to nurse more and then more. She'd nurse me dry and was still demanding. (On a side note, you have to understand that my daughter is literally the most determined baby I've ever encountered. We used to joke about Naiya being stubborn and determined because with us as parents, how could she not be. Naiya pales in comparison to Natalia. Natalia rolled over at 2 1/2 weeks old. That's right, I said "weeks". I have it on video. She was angry about tummy time and flipped over... repeatedly. I've never heard of a baby doing that, but Natalia is just wired that way. If a baby is getting into mischief, you can typcially distract them and with short attention spans, they forget thier original goal. With Natalia, she'll move onto the new activity but is watching out of the corner of her baby eye for her opportunity to pounce at whatever the original object of her intent was. My kid is driven!). That said, when it came to nursing she possessed the same single-mindedness.

So, like I said, she'd pushed me to my edge. She had been too demanding too many feedings in a row and I was about ready to go cold turkey on the girl. Kid you not I had my phone in hand, ready to call my bestie to come and take her away for a few days until the process was totally over.

Calmer minds prevailed (meaning I decided to do some internet research before I made a final decision). The first website I went to made me feel like a terrible mom. It went on and on about how child-led weaning is best and except for chemo if you have cancer and are dying with no other alternative, there aren't even real medical reasons why you would have to ever stop nursing before then. I quickly closed the window on my browser and moved onto other sites (as a mom, you truly have to sift through all the opinions about parenting and figure out what works for you. I learned that long ago and I wasn't going to be bullied. I'm open to perspective, but not shame). So, I found a forum where hundreds of moms were discussing how they were weaning their kiddos. I scrolled through and read just those that applied to toddlers around my daughter's age. And I remembered, I'm not alone.

So, after a bit of thought, I decided the following: Natalia goes all day without nursing or a bottle on days that I go into the office and does just fine. Therefore, even when I'm home, I'm going to be closed during business hours! (8am - 5pm).

This was a big step for us. We'd been trying to kick the mid-morning feeding for a while now, but we could never before miss both the mid-morning and the early afternoon one. It was Baby vs. Mom. Game on.

The first day was... AMAZING. Natalia hardly asked and when she did, we'd go get a snack and sit at the table. Her attitude was phenominal. Instead of being the beastly cry-baby she'd been the past several days demanding so much from me, she was my sweet sunny baby girl again. She went from 7am until 9pm on day one. Wow! Maybe she was ready for this after all.

The next week we spent with this philosophy. Sometimes she'd ask for an early evening feeding but then would go down at bedtime without nursing. A few days she had all three feedings, but most days two sufficed. And she's been a gem all week long.

I also came down with serious sinus drainage this week. I've not taken any medication in 2 1/2 years. But this week I was able to find some relief, because finally I didn't care if my milk supply might dry up (it didn't). And treating my symptoms was a nice plus too.

You know, they say that nursing your baby makes you closer. While I think this is typically true, I have to say that NOT nursing my baby, has made us way closer. I actually enjoy her again. I think I'm even more in love with her cute little self. Maybe it's because it really was time... no matter what the books say. We had an excellent run and now it's time to see this chapter close.

So, we're not totally weanned yet. The 5am feeding is going to be the hardest to kick as Natalia usually falls back asleep afterward and so do I. 5am is awfully early to wake-up for the day.

But we've made serious progress. And I look forward to being totally done, even if my bra size is already shrinking (can't I keep the boobs?).

Point of this story, every mama has to do what's right for her and her baby... and only you know what that is. So hugs, and best wishes!