India Update

Seven weeks... holy cow (hmm, in light of the fact that we're going to India, that phrase just dawned new meaning as I typed it!). Anyway, only seven weeks from now and we'll be on a plane to Central Asia. Wow.

Update On What We'll Be Doing

It's still a bit vague... or rather we have a fairly loose agenda. In part, that's the culture... people are more important than a timetable (oh, but I DO love my watch!), but in part it is by design - our goal is to go and meet the needs of the local church, not to make up and impose our own agenda just for the sake of having one; therefore, and our job it to show up and go where the local church asks us to and as the spirit leads. That's not to say that there isn't any plan at all. Aside from being available to the local church, we'll also be visiting a slum and spending a couple of days taking orphans to the zoo.

  

To share a bit more about our zoo outing... originally our plan was to visit the orphanage and to love on the kiddos there. However, the pastor that we are working with cautioned that this was no longer a good idea. "Bad people" watch the orphanage. Whenever the orphans have visitors like us, they assume the children have been given things and harass them. It's a case of "when helping hurts". He therefore recommended we take the children off the premises and do something fun with them. So, it's been decided that we'll take the kids to the zoo... a place that none of them have most likely ever been before. I have to say, I'm pretty excited to see their faces as they take in all the animals in person.

Update On Preparations

I checked a kids book out from the library with pictures of India in it. I've been reading it to the girls and pointing out the similarities and differences. We talk about how mommy and daddy are going on a 2 week trip and that they can't come, but that they get to spend the whole time at their cousins'! So far, I don't think that Naiya really gets it, but she is excited about staying with her cousins, so that's a good thing.

We've had some amazing friends come together with us on this initiative as prayer and financial partners. THANK YOU! Prayer-wise, we can use it, both during this preparation time and on the trip itself. Prayer is a powerful thing. Financially, we've raised about 1/5th of what we'll need. Back when we were just thinking about whether or not we should go on this India missions trip, God and I had a conversation. I was worried that we wouldn't raise enough support and God essentially told me, "Kelly, you can not go, but then you'll never see how I can provide all the funds for you." So, I'm holding God to His Word. He wants us to go, then He has to make a way. And what a fun idea He gave me to help...

...I was talking with a friend about a local race coming up in November that Adonai might run in, and she asked what the cause was (since it costs money to enter these things) and I didn't know. She said in passing that we could do something like that to raise money for the India trip. And it got me to thinking. And as the hamster ran on his little wheel in my mind, one thing led to another and we are now hosting... An AMAZING RACE.

Check it out on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=186081708128794

I think it's a super-fun way to do a fundraiser and am really excited about it, although it's requiring a lot of planning (that's where the prayer support comes in please).

To sum up this update, I wanted to share with you what I got out of a team meeting we had last month. As a team, we are working our way through Tim Dearborn's Short-Term Missions Workbook. One of the questions for reflection and discussion that we had a few weeks ago was: "As you pray about your short-term mission trip, what further insight is God giving you about why He wants you to go?"

I grappled with trying to phrase my response and it really came down to one word, "Significance."  I don't know what or how, but I know that God is going to use us going on this trip to be something significant. I can't say if He'll give us a full-time calling while we're there, or if in five years from now I'll look back and share an anecdote with someone and it will have huge impact. I only know that God didn't just tell us we COULD go, He told us that when we go, He'll doing something significant. And I am so excited for whatever He has in store.

Thanks for being a part of this journey!

Kelly (and Adonai too!)
 

Weaning

The time has finally come. We are officially weaning.

Yes, I know, weaning really begins the first time you offer cereal to your tiny pumpkin. We are way beyond that and at the near end of the nursing process.

Okay, if you're not a mom and you're EWWing right now, feel free not to read further. This blog is about me and my family and the big reality that I'm facing right now is getting my 15 month old to stop nursing.

To start, I nursed Naiya for 19 months. I decided long ago that with Natalia I'd like to end around 18 months. Then we decided to go to India in October and I'd be away from angel for 2 weeks (this would be at 17 months, so close enough). With India looming around the bend, I knew I needed Natalia weaned by then so that she wouldn't be a nightmare for my sister-in-law who will be watching her while we're out of the country.

Several weeks ago we went on a family vacation and Natalia was a little sick and so she nursed A LOT. More than usual, but that's to be expected when baby doesn't feel well. However, as Nat got well, she didn't like giving up her new frequency. And then she got greedy.

I honestly think I would have kept nursing longer if Natalia hadn't pushed me over the edge. She would nurse a normal feeding, and then demand to nurse more and then more. She'd nurse me dry and was still demanding. (On a side note, you have to understand that my daughter is literally the most determined baby I've ever encountered. We used to joke about Naiya being stubborn and determined because with us as parents, how could she not be. Naiya pales in comparison to Natalia. Natalia rolled over at 2 1/2 weeks old. That's right, I said "weeks". I have it on video. She was angry about tummy time and flipped over... repeatedly. I've never heard of a baby doing that, but Natalia is just wired that way. If a baby is getting into mischief, you can typcially distract them and with short attention spans, they forget thier original goal. With Natalia, she'll move onto the new activity but is watching out of the corner of her baby eye for her opportunity to pounce at whatever the original object of her intent was. My kid is driven!). That said, when it came to nursing she possessed the same single-mindedness.

So, like I said, she'd pushed me to my edge. She had been too demanding too many feedings in a row and I was about ready to go cold turkey on the girl. Kid you not I had my phone in hand, ready to call my bestie to come and take her away for a few days until the process was totally over.

Calmer minds prevailed (meaning I decided to do some internet research before I made a final decision). The first website I went to made me feel like a terrible mom. It went on and on about how child-led weaning is best and except for chemo if you have cancer and are dying with no other alternative, there aren't even real medical reasons why you would have to ever stop nursing before then. I quickly closed the window on my browser and moved onto other sites (as a mom, you truly have to sift through all the opinions about parenting and figure out what works for you. I learned that long ago and I wasn't going to be bullied. I'm open to perspective, but not shame). So, I found a forum where hundreds of moms were discussing how they were weaning their kiddos. I scrolled through and read just those that applied to toddlers around my daughter's age. And I remembered, I'm not alone.

So, after a bit of thought, I decided the following: Natalia goes all day without nursing or a bottle on days that I go into the office and does just fine. Therefore, even when I'm home, I'm going to be closed during business hours! (8am - 5pm).

This was a big step for us. We'd been trying to kick the mid-morning feeding for a while now, but we could never before miss both the mid-morning and the early afternoon one. It was Baby vs. Mom. Game on.

The first day was... AMAZING. Natalia hardly asked and when she did, we'd go get a snack and sit at the table. Her attitude was phenominal. Instead of being the beastly cry-baby she'd been the past several days demanding so much from me, she was my sweet sunny baby girl again. She went from 7am until 9pm on day one. Wow! Maybe she was ready for this after all.

The next week we spent with this philosophy. Sometimes she'd ask for an early evening feeding but then would go down at bedtime without nursing. A few days she had all three feedings, but most days two sufficed. And she's been a gem all week long.

I also came down with serious sinus drainage this week. I've not taken any medication in 2 1/2 years. But this week I was able to find some relief, because finally I didn't care if my milk supply might dry up (it didn't). And treating my symptoms was a nice plus too.

You know, they say that nursing your baby makes you closer. While I think this is typically true, I have to say that NOT nursing my baby, has made us way closer. I actually enjoy her again. I think I'm even more in love with her cute little self. Maybe it's because it really was time... no matter what the books say. We had an excellent run and now it's time to see this chapter close.

So, we're not totally weanned yet. The 5am feeding is going to be the hardest to kick as Natalia usually falls back asleep afterward and so do I. 5am is awfully early to wake-up for the day.

But we've made serious progress. And I look forward to being totally done, even if my bra size is already shrinking (can't I keep the boobs?).

Point of this story, every mama has to do what's right for her and her baby... and only you know what that is. So hugs, and best wishes!

Abandonment

I was recently invited to a baby shower for someone I once considered one of my closest friends on earth. Over the course of years our friendship eventually began to drifted apart and several years ago, she stopped responding to me. I guess the friendship had run its course. In the years since then I've off-and-on mourned the loss of that friendship. Sure, it had changed and we weren't as close as we'd once been, but we were still friends and I still loved her and wanted to be a part of her life (I still do). But the friendship has long been over.

And then this invitation came. Technically, it was from her mother, whom I still keep in touch with, and it was a Facebook event invite (not a personal one). I'm pretty sure mom doesn't really know that our friendship had drifted into total non-existence years ago and that the invite was a "Hey, who on Facebook might want to come to the shower?"-type of thing; therefore, I was included.

I knew right away, I couldn't just attend. I thought about talking to the mom - but it wouldn't be right to drag her into drama. I thought about contacting my "friend". I prayed about it and finally realized, that no, that friendship was indeed dead. She decided that long ago. No matter how much I miss her, it was her decision to walk away. And I can't control everything (although usually I wish I could). The call to restore the friendship, if ever it happens, is hers to initiate.

Coming to this decision wasn't easy and all this re-hashing upset me. It made me feel abandoned all over again. She bailed on a 10 year friendship. And then I started to think about other relationships lost. My brother. The bosom sister. My childhood bestie. And I grieved.

I spoke to Adonai about my decision with the baby shower and then delved into my sense of abandonment. Man, did I marry a great guy. His first words were that he would never abandon me. He then reminded me that friendships DO change, and that's okay. Next, he was quick to point out the TONS of AMAZING friends I have now and all of the life-long friends we've made over the years who will always be there - those who value me and our friendship enough to always be there in some capacity or with whom we can pickup where we left off.

And finally, Ado let me know that with those other relationships that have come to an end at the hand of the other, that it was "their loss"... And you know what, it is.

In contemplating all of this, I'm super glad for a God who promises He will never abandon or forsake me. He knows that I'm a good friend. That I'm a quality person. And that there is value in me and being my friend. God will ALWAYS be there for me. Thank God for Him! LOL.

So, there it is. It isn't meant to be a sob story, but rather to share my life as one does in a blog, but more than that to thank all of you who are faithful friends. I cherish our relationships... and you!