India Update - 3 Weeks & Counting

In three short weeks Adonái and I will be in India. I can hardly believe it is so closely upon us.

My to-do list keeps growing:

• I still need to send out some prayer magnets to those who are supporting us. I made half of them and then ran out of ink. Doh.
• Get immunizations. This needs to happen ASAP. No one wants to be coming down with typhoid.
• Check out travel insurance. Shari (one of our teammates) works for  a company who supplies this, which is nice.
• Update our wills. I don't expect anything to happen while we're gone, and this needs to happen anyway, so the timing is good.
• Make a "to communicate" list for my sister-in-law about the kids. She'll be watching the girls for us while we are gone and I want to write down a few FYI's, like, Natalia always holds her dolly and glow worm at bed time, and Naiya doesn't take a nap any more, but usually has an hour of quiet time instead, and if Natalia wakes up at 2am, let her cry, she's often back asleep within 2 minutes, but if she keeps crying, I usually give her a drink of water, lay her back down and she'll go back to sleep (no need to stay up with her), etc.
• Set-up Skype. I can skype with the girls while I'm there, but will need it set-up on this end to make that possible.
• Figure out work schedule and child care the week before and after the trip. I don't get paid time off, so for the 2 weeks I'm gone I'll be making zero income. I'm going to try to  work extra the weeks before and after the trip, which unfortunately means less time with the girls when I'm already going to be gone for 2 whole weeks, but for some reason the bills don't stop coming just because I'm out of the country. Therefore, I need to make a schedule of days in the office vs. extra hours at home and who will help with the girls in the midst of all of that (in-laws are in town, which will hopefully be very helpful).
• Buy new hair trimmer. I know this one sounds silly, but Ado has been asking for a haircut. I've been cutting his hair for about 10 years now and our trimmer finally died. Why pay to go the barber when we could buy a new one for the same cost and I can use it for the next 10 years. So, need to buy it and then do some shaving of the head.
• Sell collectible cards. Ado has a collection of cards that he agreed to sell forever ago, but never did (we have a bin in our bedroom full of them). He said he would go through them all, organize them, and then sell them to help pay for our trip to India. Tick tock babe, we have 3 weeks until departure. (I think secretly he changed his mind about selling them and doesn't have the heart to tell me.)
• Write thank you cards to vendors who helped with our Amazing Race fundraiser. The fundraiser was, well, AMAZING. 16 teams participated and the team as a whole raised about twice what we anticipated the week before the race. We want to thank all the local businesses who contributed by donating prizes or allowing us to use their premises for the race. Everyone had a terrific time and asked when we would be doing it again (um, not for a while, I'm exhausted from all the planning!).
• Plan next fundraiser. The team is talking about networking with local fast food restaurants to have an eat-out day on October 1st. Anyone who buys food and mentions our team at those particular establishments, a percentage of their purchase will go toward our India trip. Of course, that all has to be set-up and then communicated first.
• Pack for the girls. Clothes can be done last, but the pack 'n play and booster seat and double stroller, etc. all need to be pulled out for my sister-in-law to use.
• Pack for us. Probably to be done the day we depart knowing us, but I'm starting to make piles and lists.
• Compile little gifts for the kids. I am leaving a few small presents for the girls to open every few days while we're gone. My parents did that for me when I was a kid and I loved it. Helped take away some of the sadness of being away from mommy and daddy. The dollar store has some great little kid stuff that I need to pick up and then wrap.

I'm sure there is more, but that is all my brain can remember for now. Please pray for us as we wrap up all of these preparations over the next three weeks.

The good news is that Ado and I both got our visas approved and our passports returned to us. So that is one big important element taken care of.

Our support-raising is coming along, but still has a ways to go. Aside from the fundraisers, which go toward the team as a while, Ado and I have had 14 families partner with us financially on this trip (thank you) and have raised about 1/3rd of what we need. Unfortunately, plane tickets to India are not cheap! Please continue to pray that God shows His faithfulness and provides the rest of the funds needed for us to go. I have no doubt that He called us on this trip, so we're waiting on Him to make it possible.

I guess that's it for now. If you have any questions, please let us know. We're really excited about this opportunity.

In Him,

Kelly (and Adonái too)
India Mission Trip: October 13th-28th

New Look

Don't close your browser! This really is still The Martinez Home blog. I gave it a facelift. While I loved the dandelions, I hated how as a watermark image they infringed on the ability to read the blog text. So, I opted for this version, which has the dandelions at the top, but solid colors for an easier read. I'm not sold on the green for the major backdrop element, but would love your feedback. Feel free to comment on the new look!

In honor of new looks, I thought I'd embarrass myself a bit. So.... here goes.

Anyone who knows me personally, know that I look like this:

I cut my hair short two years ago and it really took about a year for me to find a style I truly love. Shortly after that Ado asked me if I'd grow my hair back out. He didn't mind that I'd cut it short, but didn't love it per se either. He wished it looked like this again:

I grew my hair out for about 8 months and gave up. Growing your hair out sucks. It will always suck... that awkward in between phase. The only way I felt my hair looked cute was to pull it back, but I have chronic headaches and that style didn't contribute to those very well. Plus, I have a preschooler and a baby to chase after and spending time on my hair or feeling ugly wasn't doing me any good. I asked Ado if I could cut it short again. Honestly, I wasn't done having it short. I like it short. I like it long too, but after almost many years of long, I'm still enjoying the short phase. Plus it is SO EASY.

Ado agreed. However, while he says I'm still pretty and he doesn't mind, I know he does.

All this said, I want us to both be happy, so.... for a while now I've been chewing on getting a wig! I thought it might be fun to sometimes go out on a date and me have long flowing hair again. That he would think I was pretty... prettier.

And then last week I was walking through the mall and there they were. And I thought I'd just look at the price tag so I'd know. And the lady asked if I wanted to try one on and... well, I fold like a house of cards when it comes to sales.

So here it is!

Ado thinks I look better al natural, which is sweet. And he thinks I'm silly for buying it, which is true. But, I don't think you can return a wig. So it's mine. And eventually I'll dare to wear it out!

India Update

Seven weeks... holy cow (hmm, in light of the fact that we're going to India, that phrase just dawned new meaning as I typed it!). Anyway, only seven weeks from now and we'll be on a plane to Central Asia. Wow.

Update On What We'll Be Doing

It's still a bit vague... or rather we have a fairly loose agenda. In part, that's the culture... people are more important than a timetable (oh, but I DO love my watch!), but in part it is by design - our goal is to go and meet the needs of the local church, not to make up and impose our own agenda just for the sake of having one; therefore, and our job it to show up and go where the local church asks us to and as the spirit leads. That's not to say that there isn't any plan at all. Aside from being available to the local church, we'll also be visiting a slum and spending a couple of days taking orphans to the zoo.

  

To share a bit more about our zoo outing... originally our plan was to visit the orphanage and to love on the kiddos there. However, the pastor that we are working with cautioned that this was no longer a good idea. "Bad people" watch the orphanage. Whenever the orphans have visitors like us, they assume the children have been given things and harass them. It's a case of "when helping hurts". He therefore recommended we take the children off the premises and do something fun with them. So, it's been decided that we'll take the kids to the zoo... a place that none of them have most likely ever been before. I have to say, I'm pretty excited to see their faces as they take in all the animals in person.

Update On Preparations

I checked a kids book out from the library with pictures of India in it. I've been reading it to the girls and pointing out the similarities and differences. We talk about how mommy and daddy are going on a 2 week trip and that they can't come, but that they get to spend the whole time at their cousins'! So far, I don't think that Naiya really gets it, but she is excited about staying with her cousins, so that's a good thing.

We've had some amazing friends come together with us on this initiative as prayer and financial partners. THANK YOU! Prayer-wise, we can use it, both during this preparation time and on the trip itself. Prayer is a powerful thing. Financially, we've raised about 1/5th of what we'll need. Back when we were just thinking about whether or not we should go on this India missions trip, God and I had a conversation. I was worried that we wouldn't raise enough support and God essentially told me, "Kelly, you can not go, but then you'll never see how I can provide all the funds for you." So, I'm holding God to His Word. He wants us to go, then He has to make a way. And what a fun idea He gave me to help...

...I was talking with a friend about a local race coming up in November that Adonai might run in, and she asked what the cause was (since it costs money to enter these things) and I didn't know. She said in passing that we could do something like that to raise money for the India trip. And it got me to thinking. And as the hamster ran on his little wheel in my mind, one thing led to another and we are now hosting... An AMAZING RACE.

Check it out on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=186081708128794

I think it's a super-fun way to do a fundraiser and am really excited about it, although it's requiring a lot of planning (that's where the prayer support comes in please).

To sum up this update, I wanted to share with you what I got out of a team meeting we had last month. As a team, we are working our way through Tim Dearborn's Short-Term Missions Workbook. One of the questions for reflection and discussion that we had a few weeks ago was: "As you pray about your short-term mission trip, what further insight is God giving you about why He wants you to go?"

I grappled with trying to phrase my response and it really came down to one word, "Significance."  I don't know what or how, but I know that God is going to use us going on this trip to be something significant. I can't say if He'll give us a full-time calling while we're there, or if in five years from now I'll look back and share an anecdote with someone and it will have huge impact. I only know that God didn't just tell us we COULD go, He told us that when we go, He'll doing something significant. And I am so excited for whatever He has in store.

Thanks for being a part of this journey!

Kelly (and Adonai too!)
 

Weaning

The time has finally come. We are officially weaning.

Yes, I know, weaning really begins the first time you offer cereal to your tiny pumpkin. We are way beyond that and at the near end of the nursing process.

Okay, if you're not a mom and you're EWWing right now, feel free not to read further. This blog is about me and my family and the big reality that I'm facing right now is getting my 15 month old to stop nursing.

To start, I nursed Naiya for 19 months. I decided long ago that with Natalia I'd like to end around 18 months. Then we decided to go to India in October and I'd be away from angel for 2 weeks (this would be at 17 months, so close enough). With India looming around the bend, I knew I needed Natalia weaned by then so that she wouldn't be a nightmare for my sister-in-law who will be watching her while we're out of the country.

Several weeks ago we went on a family vacation and Natalia was a little sick and so she nursed A LOT. More than usual, but that's to be expected when baby doesn't feel well. However, as Nat got well, she didn't like giving up her new frequency. And then she got greedy.

I honestly think I would have kept nursing longer if Natalia hadn't pushed me over the edge. She would nurse a normal feeding, and then demand to nurse more and then more. She'd nurse me dry and was still demanding. (On a side note, you have to understand that my daughter is literally the most determined baby I've ever encountered. We used to joke about Naiya being stubborn and determined because with us as parents, how could she not be. Naiya pales in comparison to Natalia. Natalia rolled over at 2 1/2 weeks old. That's right, I said "weeks". I have it on video. She was angry about tummy time and flipped over... repeatedly. I've never heard of a baby doing that, but Natalia is just wired that way. If a baby is getting into mischief, you can typcially distract them and with short attention spans, they forget thier original goal. With Natalia, she'll move onto the new activity but is watching out of the corner of her baby eye for her opportunity to pounce at whatever the original object of her intent was. My kid is driven!). That said, when it came to nursing she possessed the same single-mindedness.

So, like I said, she'd pushed me to my edge. She had been too demanding too many feedings in a row and I was about ready to go cold turkey on the girl. Kid you not I had my phone in hand, ready to call my bestie to come and take her away for a few days until the process was totally over.

Calmer minds prevailed (meaning I decided to do some internet research before I made a final decision). The first website I went to made me feel like a terrible mom. It went on and on about how child-led weaning is best and except for chemo if you have cancer and are dying with no other alternative, there aren't even real medical reasons why you would have to ever stop nursing before then. I quickly closed the window on my browser and moved onto other sites (as a mom, you truly have to sift through all the opinions about parenting and figure out what works for you. I learned that long ago and I wasn't going to be bullied. I'm open to perspective, but not shame). So, I found a forum where hundreds of moms were discussing how they were weaning their kiddos. I scrolled through and read just those that applied to toddlers around my daughter's age. And I remembered, I'm not alone.

So, after a bit of thought, I decided the following: Natalia goes all day without nursing or a bottle on days that I go into the office and does just fine. Therefore, even when I'm home, I'm going to be closed during business hours! (8am - 5pm).

This was a big step for us. We'd been trying to kick the mid-morning feeding for a while now, but we could never before miss both the mid-morning and the early afternoon one. It was Baby vs. Mom. Game on.

The first day was... AMAZING. Natalia hardly asked and when she did, we'd go get a snack and sit at the table. Her attitude was phenominal. Instead of being the beastly cry-baby she'd been the past several days demanding so much from me, she was my sweet sunny baby girl again. She went from 7am until 9pm on day one. Wow! Maybe she was ready for this after all.

The next week we spent with this philosophy. Sometimes she'd ask for an early evening feeding but then would go down at bedtime without nursing. A few days she had all three feedings, but most days two sufficed. And she's been a gem all week long.

I also came down with serious sinus drainage this week. I've not taken any medication in 2 1/2 years. But this week I was able to find some relief, because finally I didn't care if my milk supply might dry up (it didn't). And treating my symptoms was a nice plus too.

You know, they say that nursing your baby makes you closer. While I think this is typically true, I have to say that NOT nursing my baby, has made us way closer. I actually enjoy her again. I think I'm even more in love with her cute little self. Maybe it's because it really was time... no matter what the books say. We had an excellent run and now it's time to see this chapter close.

So, we're not totally weanned yet. The 5am feeding is going to be the hardest to kick as Natalia usually falls back asleep afterward and so do I. 5am is awfully early to wake-up for the day.

But we've made serious progress. And I look forward to being totally done, even if my bra size is already shrinking (can't I keep the boobs?).

Point of this story, every mama has to do what's right for her and her baby... and only you know what that is. So hugs, and best wishes!

Abandonment

I was recently invited to a baby shower for someone I once considered one of my closest friends on earth. Over the course of years our friendship eventually began to drifted apart and several years ago, she stopped responding to me. I guess the friendship had run its course. In the years since then I've off-and-on mourned the loss of that friendship. Sure, it had changed and we weren't as close as we'd once been, but we were still friends and I still loved her and wanted to be a part of her life (I still do). But the friendship has long been over.

And then this invitation came. Technically, it was from her mother, whom I still keep in touch with, and it was a Facebook event invite (not a personal one). I'm pretty sure mom doesn't really know that our friendship had drifted into total non-existence years ago and that the invite was a "Hey, who on Facebook might want to come to the shower?"-type of thing; therefore, I was included.

I knew right away, I couldn't just attend. I thought about talking to the mom - but it wouldn't be right to drag her into drama. I thought about contacting my "friend". I prayed about it and finally realized, that no, that friendship was indeed dead. She decided that long ago. No matter how much I miss her, it was her decision to walk away. And I can't control everything (although usually I wish I could). The call to restore the friendship, if ever it happens, is hers to initiate.

Coming to this decision wasn't easy and all this re-hashing upset me. It made me feel abandoned all over again. She bailed on a 10 year friendship. And then I started to think about other relationships lost. My brother. The bosom sister. My childhood bestie. And I grieved.

I spoke to Adonai about my decision with the baby shower and then delved into my sense of abandonment. Man, did I marry a great guy. His first words were that he would never abandon me. He then reminded me that friendships DO change, and that's okay. Next, he was quick to point out the TONS of AMAZING friends I have now and all of the life-long friends we've made over the years who will always be there - those who value me and our friendship enough to always be there in some capacity or with whom we can pickup where we left off.

And finally, Ado let me know that with those other relationships that have come to an end at the hand of the other, that it was "their loss"... And you know what, it is.

In contemplating all of this, I'm super glad for a God who promises He will never abandon or forsake me. He knows that I'm a good friend. That I'm a quality person. And that there is value in me and being my friend. God will ALWAYS be there for me. Thank God for Him! LOL.

So, there it is. It isn't meant to be a sob story, but rather to share my life as one does in a blog, but more than that to thank all of you who are faithful friends. I cherish our relationships... and you!